Loving the Feedback! Keep It Coming!

I am thrilled with the feedback I’ve been getting on the synopsis and hook for the James Patterson co-writing competition. Your insights are truly helpful in fine-tuning an idea I’m really excited about. Thank you!

I’ve listened to the comments I’ve received so far, and done a bit of tweaking. What do you think of the updated version of the book summary? (Joan, I tried, but I couldn’t get it to work with the husband’s name in the first sentence.)

UPDATED BOOK SUMMARY

Charlie’s life is perfect – until she returns home to find her home sold, her possessions gone, her accounts emptied, and her family missing. Penniless and with few resources, she desperately searches for her husband Jason and her children, praying that uncovering her husband’s hidden past – and confronting her own – will be the key to saving the ones she loves.

Investigating Jason’s childhood, she discovers that his father is serving a life sentence for murder – and her testimony as a child imprisoned him. She follows the trail to the penitentiary, where Jason’s father surrenders letters that expose two decades of shocking deceit and betrayal.

OLD BOOK SUMMARY

Charlie is a happily married woman who comes home to find her house sold, her possessions gone, her accounts emptied, and her family missing. She must expose years of shocking deceit and betrayal to rescue her children before her husband Jason kills them.

She delves into her husband’s hidden childhood and discovers that his father is serving a life sentence for murder – and her testimony as a child imprisoned him. When she visits Jason’s father in prison, he gives her a packet of letters from his son, detailing two decades of vengeful stalking and sabotage, including ruining her relationships and engineering her parents’ deaths.